As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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