i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
