garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
