Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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