If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
