You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
