Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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