So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
