remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
