..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
