btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
FUCK WHALES
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