Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
