I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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