Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
