you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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