After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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