Are we in a gay sports bar?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
