You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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