Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my phone needs a breathalizer
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
