I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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