why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
