so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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