Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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