he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
