WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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