I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
