we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's Friday. Sex?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he thought i was a dude.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
