My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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