So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
