Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
