make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
