My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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