i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
