found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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