Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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