can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
