She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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