I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
