no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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