Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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