i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
