Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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