Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
