i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
