I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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