i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
