So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
