just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize