you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
