eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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