Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
