OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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