I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Its about making memories worth repressing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
