I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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