He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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