I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
