Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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