Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
