At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize